Victoria Saliva is without doubt one of the most famous spitting Ladies around, so I didn’t hesitate when I saw Her mouthwatering ad the other day. I mean: a Spit-In, that was truly a wet dream come true! So I travelled to Spit-alfields in London to meet Her at last. There were over thirty saliva slaves waiting in line, all ready to pay the hefty fee to get in. But boy, was it worth it! Her spit is stunningly proportioned, ripe, full body, intense and with an inner-core of creamy, highly extracted strawberry fruit. Grand Cru Spit, priceless and addictive! Lady Saliva also played a Spit-Snap game with us. She sprinkled Her spit randomly around and it was our task to catch it with our mouth before it splashed onto the floor. A guy from Northumberland (or: North-humble-land, as he used to say) won the contest and got a free Saliva Shower. Well, it was more a flood, to be honest. Hence Her nickname: Victoria Falls.