I really needed a haircut, because I looked like a woolly mammoth. Now, I’d heard about a new shop in town, called Barbaric. A rather ominous name for a barber, I thought, but I was willing to give it a try. There were two lovely Ladies waiting for me, dressed in short leather skirts. They brought me to a barber chair unlike any I’d seen before, because it had straps attached to the arms and legs. But I didn’t want to look like a nitwit (which was a monumental challenge), so I sat down with the air of a man of the world. They strapped my wrists and ankles to the chair and then one of the Ladies grabbed my hair with a vengeance. I screamed, because Her fingers were grinding their way through my skull, in an attempt to take everything out by the roots. Then the second Lady tucked in as well and they plucked me like a chicken. The bill was hefty, so I left without any hair or money. Thank God they threw in some Hairpulling Shampoo for free.